Mirror

Some days I wonder how I ever make it through the day and do it all again...over and over and over again.  Other days I think I'm invincible and can take on the world (wish I had more of those days).  On days were I feel like I my body is going to fall apart I wonder "HOW? How did my mother ever do it?" Sometimes I know the answer and other times I really wonder if I'll figure out the secret, but most of the time it just makes me more thankful for her.  I am so glad to know that she of all people are helping to watch my boys for me...I know they are in great hands. 

My relationship with my mother has always been a good one.  As I've gotten older our relationship has changed in many ways and now as a mother myself  I've come to realize even more what she meant when she said "You won't know how much I love you until you have your own kids."  The idea that I would do anything for them to ensure that nothing could or would ever hurt them (although I know that I can't protect them from everything). It's amazing the things that I feel...how my heart fills up with joy and all my worries disappear when Miles looks at me and say "mommy, hug" and he gives me his biggest warmest hug, how I can stare at Caleb for hours just laying around, how my heart feels like it's jumped out of my body when Miles goes head first full speed into a metal door, how I'm filled with anticipation for the bond that is to be when I catch Miles and Caleb in a moment.  There really is nothing like being  mother and you can't explain it to anyone who isn't one, but once you become a mother how awesome it is.  I could never explain to them in words the amount of love I have for them and everyday I understand more what my mother meant.

Sometimes I wonder do I see myself like her? Do I have some of those great qualities that she has? Can I handle some of those challenges as gracefully as she does? There are many things different about my mother and I but one thing that I do hope I am like her is how great of a mother and an example she has been.

My beautiful mother holding me as a child